Monday, November 21, 2011

REMIND ME AGAIN WHY I WANT A JOB?


I’ve been unemployed for five months. And getting a job is always foremost on my mind, a growing concern that sucks up a lot of time and mental energy. It’s not easy. 

Sometimes the stress and uncertainty can be overwhelming; worrying about whether or not I’ll find work before unemployment runs out. What if I can’t make rent and wind up HOMELESS?!! With a heavy sigh, I imagine my almost certain future as a vagrant with my belongings slung over my shoulder in a weathered Hefty CinchSak, begging for change near Venice Beach along with life’s other undesirables. My worst fears realized, I bump into a former co-worker, who points his iphone at me. And laughs.

Or worse, my ex-boyfriend! Who pretends not to see me. But I catch the look of pity and disappointment in his eyes as he walks past. And I cry out to the sky, in anguish.

The scary vision drives me to rework my resume, AGAIN, in another sad attempt to hide with dazzling prose what I sorely lack in qualifications. No one is fooled. 

I don’t even have any good skills! You know, like nunchuck skills,
bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills…

But when I’m not stressing myself out, dreaming up worse case scenarios or checking my dwindling bank account balance each morning, this whole “not working thing” hasn’t been all bad. In fact, getting laid off may have been a real blessing in disguise.

I’m getting a lot more sleep. I’m exercising regularly. I’m eating healthier and actually planning all my meals. Even my apartment—a place that once served as a storage facility for dirty laundry and take out containers—has started to feel more like a home.

It’s amazing how much personal stuff actually gets done when your life doesn’t revolve around work and the I-don't-have-time excuse has lost meaning. I feel like a real person! The proof: I currently have two distinctly shaped eyebrows, no mustache and the hair on my head is ONE SHADE OF BROWN. Trust me that was a rare occurrence back when I put my boss’ needs above my own; I was a two-toned hairy troll.

Basically, I look and feel great. And I’m happier than I’ve been in a really long time. So now that I’ve gotten my life back, I don’t know that I’m ready to hand it over to another ungrateful employer who overworks me and treats me like an indentured servant.


We don’t have a lot of time on this earth. We weren’t meant to spend it this way.

So where do I go from here? I’m not exactly sure to be honest. But as I weigh my career options, I’ve gotten a lot clearer on the type of job that I want/don’t want.

Here’s the essential criteria: 

1. I WANT a job that challenges me, where I can learn, grow and develop new skills.

2. I WANT a job that excites and fulfills me, where I can create something that provides some value to people’s lives.

3. I WANT a job that pays me WHAT I AM WORTH.

4. I WANT a job that doesn’t make me wrong for having a personal life or wanting to maintain some type of work/life balance.

5. I WANT to work with talented people who bring out the best in me.

6. I DON'T WANT to work for another clueless idiot. 

7. I DON'T WANT to work 16-18 hour days again with zero time for myself.

8. I DON'T WANT to work for another media company, who doesn’t appreciate or value my creative ideas and contributions.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY….

I DON’T WANT TO EVER SELL MY SOUL FOR A PAYCHECK AND A GREAT BENEFITS PACKAGE; SPENDING MY DAYS IN A
POORLY LIT CUBICLE WHERE I STARE AT A SCREEN....

AND WASTE AWAY IN SILENT MISERY.
 
In short, I want a job that doesn’t gnaw away at my soul and make me miserable. Am I asking for too much here? You tell me.

_________________________________________________________________     
MOVIE STILLS & QUOTABLES: 
1. NAPOLEON DYNAMITE (2004) Writer: Jared Hess, Jerusha Hess  
2. OFFICE SPACE (1999) Writer: Mike Judge

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