Friday, December 2, 2011

WHO KNEW REPTILES COULD BE SO INSPIRING


So I had this rather strange dream the other night involving four lizards.

I don’t know how it started. But I remember one of the lizards was a chameleon. And I watched with fascination, along with a group of others, while he put on an impressive show for us in the living room. We marveled at his amazing display of talent, applauding as he changed colors to blend in seamlessly with various pieces of decorative furniture. I sat absolutely mesmerized during the entire performance.

-Who exactly are you?

At some point, I decided that I really wanted a picture with my new scaly pets. So I set out to gather them all which was no small task.

I found one lizard in an adjoining room, speaking his thoughts aloud to no one in particular. A smart, analytical type with wire rimmed glasses, he smiled when he saw me. And I felt an almost instant connection to the critter.

I chased down another rascal, who ran around frantically on his hind legs, eventually catching him.  

And after an exhaustive search, I stumbled upon the last guy, hiding in a dark corner.

With an excitement I can’t fully explain, I posed for a bizarre, yet SERIOUSLY  AWESOME photo surrounded by my reptilian posse.  And what struck me the most about that snapshot wasn’t its genuine awkwardness.  Or the four sets of bulging eyes and dead serious stares. It was the huge smile on my face. I was overjoyed.

What the hell does it all mean anyhow? Nothing. Zero. Zilch.

Normally, I don’t remember my dreams. So when I have a particularly vivid one that stays with me, I know it probably means something. Especially, if it involves a strange animal. Whenever I’ve felt stuck or unsure about my current path and prayed for guidance. The answer often comes to me in the form of a dream featuring some random wildlife creature, like my psyche wants to make extra sure I don’t forget it.

The lizards were definitely a sign. The universe was trying to tell me something.

But what exactly was the message? And why lizards? What did they represent? I browsed through a few online dream dictionaries on a quest for answers.

Here’s what I learned:   

--The lizard symbolizes emerging creativity, renewal and revitalization.

--Seeing a chameleon in your dream, represents your ability to adapt to any situation. You are versatile and well-rounded. Alternatively you feel you are being overlooked.

--To observe a chameleon running in your dream is connected to independence.

--If you chase the chameleon, then this shows that obstacles are currently in your way.

--Most lizards are gifted with various forms of camouflage. These gifts of illusion are symbolic of messages to us that within us, we have impressive gifts we may utilize for our well-being...

THE LIZARD COMES WITH A MESSAGE ABOUT OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO RECOGNIZE THESE HIDDEN GIFTS AND SKILLS THAT WE MAY AVOID HARM AND LIVE FREELY AND HAPPILY AS WE ARE DESIGNED TO LIVE.


I just want to understand.

WOW. The dream could not have been more telling. It speaks directly to the growing fears and anxiety I’ve felt as I contemplate taking the self-employment route.

After getting laid off twice, from two equally uninspiring tv jobs, I’ll admit the idea of working for myself holds tremendous appeal. Seems like a no-brainer. But it’s a real bold step that requires enormous courage. Not to mention an inordinate amount of self-confidence, which truthfully is in short supply as my bruised ego is still recovering from the one-two punch of losing both my job AND my man. In the same month.

I worry I don’t have what it takes to succeed as a full-time writer.

What if I’m not talented enough? Or “special” enough? Or can’t pay my bills? I tell myself maybe I’m better off looking for a less demanding job and pursuing my creative projects on the side. But I know that's fear, pushing me to make another safe choice. 

I’ve traded my dreams before for the security of a steady paycheck. I was miserable. 

You mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger darling.

The lizard dream is basically telling me to not be afraid to strike out on my own!

Because even though it’s a scary time in my career, marked by uncertainty. It’s also a time for renewal that offers me an exciting opportunity to explore new possibilities. Sure, there will be obstacles. But I am versatile and can adapt easily. I simply need to believe in myself and have confidence in my impressive gifts, knowing I cannot fail.

As I further analyzed the dream, it suddenly struck me: HOLY CRAP...I AM THE DAMN LIZARD! Or rather, each of the four lizards represents a different part of me.

--The “talented chameleon” is me at my creative best, when I am utilizing all of my special talents to entertain others. I’m focused, thoroughly engaged and inspired. This is me on a good day; when I allow myself to shine and don’t give into fear and anxiety.

--The “analytical lizard” is me on most days, completely lost in thought. Planning. Questioning. Weighing my options and over analyzing every step. Sadly, I know this lizard well. We’re best buds! He’s me when I am stuck and unable to move forward.

--The “unfocused lizard” runs around aimlessly. Or in my case, watches a lot of trashy reality tv or spends hours googling random shit it calls “research”. It’s me on my worst days, when I procrastinate and get nothing done. When I’m being small.

--And the “hidden lizard”, well, that’s the part of me I hide for fear people will judge me. He’s the reason I started this blog. Because I don’t want to hide who I am. Anymore.
 
In order to be truly happy, I need to utilize ALL of my special gifts and talents, let go of my fears and stop holding myself back. Because as the final snapshot revealed...

WHEN I AM ABLE TO EMBRACE ALL THE DIFFERENT PARTS OF ME,
TO LOVE MYSELF AND EVERYTHING THAT MAKES ME UNIQUE,
I WILL REALIZE MY FULL POTENTIAL AND LIVE A HAPPY, FULFILLING LIFE.

So, I can stop worrying now. I'm going to be just fine. 

Four little lizards told me so.