Thursday, September 8, 2011


What an idea. What a mad, crazy, wonderful idea.

It's September. Summer is officially over. And the back-to-school season is here.

Remember that feeling at the start of a new school year? It was an exciting time filled with so much promise. A time for new possibilities. And of course, another opportunity to make good on the yearly “things-will-be-different-this-time-I-SWEAR-IT” resolution.

My vision for myself never involved being more popular. Or studying more. Or not taking crap from a stupid guy who clearly didn’t know how lucky he was to have ME for a girlfriend (a popular choice among the overly dramatic girls at my Jersey HS).

What I wanted more than anything was the confidence to venture outside my comfort zone, take more risks and make bolder choices that made me happy. To laugh loudly, dance stupidly, speak freely, fail miserably and be as sexy as I wanted to be without GIVING A RAT’S ASS WHAT PEOPLE HAD TO SAY ABOUT IT.  In short, to be less self conscious and live each and every moment of my life without fear or trepidation.

I just never had that kind of confidence. Maybe if I had bigger boobs, I don’t know.

I know she's kind of socially retarded and weird, but she's my friend...
so, just promise me you won't make fun of her!

Thank God I’m not that scared, chained up little person anymore. (Oh no. Not I). I’m older with far more confidence and I have absolutely NO problem speaking my mind.

Yet, I still sometimes worry what people think. Far more than I care to admit. And there are parts of myself that I hold back from the world for fear it’ll judge me. Nobody wants to look stupid. So I tread cautiously through life, playing it safe and overthinking every step. This is not how I want to live. Its dull, unfulfilling. And doesn’t make me happy. 

But its never too late to make a fresh start and try something new. Hence this blog.


This is where I step out of my comfort zone and make good on that earlier promise to myself to “be bolder”. A place where I hold nothing back. Where I can write and share and connect with others. All truly scary things for a mad shady girl like me who craves solitude and typically avoids any kind of attention or spotlight. 

With this blog, I am taking my first tiny  baby bold step towards living a happier, authentic life. And for once, really putting myself out there and making an effort.

So here I am in all my glory. Mad. Shady. Sexy as I wanna be. Saying judge away. 

I’m not scared.

No comments:

Post a Comment